


tell me why

by tsukisyama (dragonair)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Reunions, Revolving doors, Sportsfest 2019, literally happens in like 6 seconds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 00:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19262491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonair/pseuds/tsukisyama
Summary: After five years, Tendou runs into Ushijima at work.





	tell me why

**Author's Note:**

> For Sportsfest 2019! The prompt was "tell me why" and I decided to take the angst route instead of the 90's boy band route. Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Big thanks to [Lana](http://archiveofourown.org/users/librarybooks) and [Kylie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/rronanllynch) for beta-ing this I owe you everything!

Tendou Satori imagined running into his captain again. 

 

He imagines it often, actually; at  _ least  _ once a week since his high school graduation, five years ago. Most of the scenarios he cooked up involved copious bouquets of roses, getting hit in the head with a stray volleyball and being whisked away to the hospital, or reaching for the same fruit at the supermarket.

 

Whether his fantasies ended in romance or conflict, well. That was up for fate to decide. 

 

However, for all of his elaborate daydreams, Satori never once imagined an encounter in the more mundane sense. He should’ve, probably, in hindsight —  but he’d been distracted by every trope in modern romantic comedies, and the idea of brushing his captain’s hand at the supermarket held more appeal than running into him in a revolving door on his way to work. 

 

As it turned out, working part-time at a popular hotel meant running into high school acquaintances on business trips all too often. 

 

Now that he thinks about it, the captain from that team they’d lost to in their third year — what was his name? Dead-chi? Satori doesn’t know — checked in for a business trip just the other day. He and Mr. Blunt were in business together, if his memory of their conversation served him correctly. 

 

Despite the fact that he should’ve anticipated this (probably), could’ve prepared for it, (maybe) Satori is still caught off guard. He enters the revolving door mid-rotation, the teammate he once knew so well not giving him so much as a second glance, and his heart stops dead in its tracks. 

 

_ Is this paradise? Right here in a revolving door? _

 

Based on looks alone, Ushijima Wakatoshi hasn’t changed much since high school. 

 

His legs and torso have always been too tall to do him any good outside of a volleyball court. It’s almost funny, really —  together, they must take up nearly four fifths of the door shaft, although the two centimeters Ushijima had on Satori in high school must’ve at least doubled. 

 

His arms are too bulky to fit comfortably into his charcoal suit, a souvenir from years spent serving and spiking. Satori notices that he’s obviously toned, so he must use them for something other than office work. Maybe even for volleyball, still. 

 

His shoulders are too tense. Satori remembers wanting to ease the tension out of them with his own hands after practice. He wonders if Ushijima would be more relaxed, if he had back then. Or maybe he’d be less tense now, had Satori invited him over to watch cheesy romcoms like he’d always wanted to. Or even if he’d cared enough to be Ushijima’s friend outside of volleyball just once, back then.

 

_ Did our friendship mean anything to him at all?  _

 

His face, Satori realizes, is stoic. Too stoic and emotionless to have realized that his high school teammate was in the revolving door with him. Too stoic, even for his already very stoic teammate. 

_ Was that all we were? Teammates? _ Satori frowns. It's possible he read into things too much in high school; he reads too much into them now. But he can recall a time where he’d look up at Ushijima — during a match, during lunch, during practice — and watch his deep forest green eyes melt right before him. (Only for Satori. Never anyone else.)

 

And Satori, poor Satori, had been all too eager to melt to the ground right alongside him. 

 

Teammates don’t feel this way for each other, Satori knows. Teammates don’t dream of a farmer’s paradise together after spending five years growing apart. Teammates’ hearts don’t threaten to crawl out their chests at the mere thought of breathing in the same space. Teammates get over a loss. Satori knows these things, and yet. 

 

Ushijima's gaze fixes onto Satori. 

 

The ground seems to open a fissure beneath them. Satori feels like he’s falling, weightless, approaching the catalyst of something; Ushijima's eyes are piercing, resolute, critical. 

 

_ So this is the acute intimidation of Ushijima Wakatoshi. _

 

Satori never had to face it head on like the other teams in their prefecture had. Maybe now Satori can understand the feeling of crushing defeat before stepping foot in the court. In high school, Ushijima’s eyes threatened to melt Satori. Now, they threaten to turn him into stone.

 

He’d take turning to stone over Ushijima hearing the hammering in his chest, though. No question. 

 

No matter how well Satori thought he knew him, in high school, Ushijima had been a mystery. He was too blunt for his own good; too stoic to know what emotion he was actually trying to convey. Satori was one of the only people who could read Ushijima. 

 

_ Could _ , past tense.

 

Maybe that’s why, right now, Satori sees the unadulterated, bleeding hurt in Ushijima’s eyes. For once, Satori can't find anything to say to him; too much time has passed. Even now, spending six seconds in a revolving door together, it’s too late. They’re supposed to have left all of these feelings behind back in high school, so why?  _ Why? _

 

"Tell me why," Satori whispers, finally. A plea.

 

_ Tell me why there aren’t any roses, tell me why we’re not gawking over the same piece of fruit at the supermarket.  _

 

Because real life isn’t going to mirror your fantasy.

 

_ Tell me why I let us grow apart.  _

 

Because you stopped putting in the effort. 

 

_ Tell me why I’ve only just realized I loved you.  _

 

Because you were meant to move on.

 

Ushijima's expression softens —  of course it does; the universe has made it clear it's out for Satori's heart today. His lips part, his shoulders relax evenly, it’s almost perfect. Almost, because it’s not the Ushijima that Satori knew in high school, but he’ll take it, he’ll take  _ anything  _ if it means an end to this hell — 

 

But Ushijima’s eyes are still cloudy. Guarded. Utterly inscrutable. 

 

Before he can answer, the revolving doors shift. Without hesitation, Satori’s captain wordlessly lets himself out. 

 

Time stops once again. For the first time since high school, Satori remembers how paradise vanishing into thin air feels. 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twit @tsukisyama or insta @klancemcclogane


End file.
